Discover Wax Play - Learn How to Use Bondage Candles

We're all thinking it, there's something intrinsically sensual about candles. For most, their beauty is in their ability to set the moody candlelit scene and cast dramatic shadows across a lover's naked outstretched body. For others, candles hold a lesser-known pleasure. Their hot candle wax. 

If your interest has led you to read this far, you've likely already indulged in massage with oils or perhaps you're partial to a spot of pain, temperature play style. Imagine the sensation of oil dripping onto your skin or an ice cube caressing the contours of your body. Well, as it happens, wax play is in the same realm, except it's a hot waxy elixir trickling down your spine, delivering shocking thrills and blissful pleasure in equal measure.

If you hadn't guessed already, the delicious form of BDSM temperature play known as wax play is the act of dripping candle wax onto the skin. The thrill comes from the sensation of the hot wax hitting your flesh before cooling and hardening, but it can be highly visually stimulating too. Especially when using coloured bondage candles.

If you’ve got a burning desire to give wax play a go, here’s what you need to know about the candles you should and shouldn’t use, how to drip wax safely and the best way to clean up.

Choosing Wax Play Candles

First things first, stick to candles created specifically for BDSM wax play, rather than everyday candles. Bondage candle wax has a lower melting point, so the wax doesn’t get as hot. As a result, it’s less likely to burn or scald the skin but don't worry, you will definitely know it's there.

Interestingly, the wax of a white candle may feel cooler than coloured candles. Again, this is all to do with the melting temperature. For this reason, you might prefer to invest in white kinky BDSM candles if you’re a bondage beginner and want to introduce wax play into your sex life.

Secondly and quite importantly - not all candles are created equal and some candles are unsuitable for wax play due to the temperature that they melt at.

Candles you should avoid using - even if you become a red-hot, wax play expert — are beeswax, scented, and everyday coloured candles. These burn at high temperatures that could scald and permanently mark the skin. Regular coloured and scented candles can also lead to staining or include non-skin-friendly chemicals, so it's best to steer clear.

Soy candles burn the ‘coolest’ and are indeed suitable for wax play. Specialist wax play paraffin candles may also work but paraffin wax melts at a hotter temperature than soy wax so are perhaps not so beginner friendly.

Get started with wax play candles today...

Start with a Massage Candle

Massage candles aren’t the same as bondage candles, but are a good introduction to temperature play if you’re looking to experiment with this kind of kink or fetish for the first time.

Like bondage candles, erotic massage candles have a very low-temperature melting point and the wax quickly pools into a warm oil. However, unlike bondage candles, when you pour and drip the wax of massage candles it won’t solidify. Instead, it remains as a liquid massage oil.

Hardened wax spots can be part of wax play’s aesthetic appeal, so if you’re going for hot visuals as well as sensations, just be aware you won’t achieve this with massage candles.  

How to Use Bondage Candles

Follow these tips to stay safe during your wax play games so you’re smouldering with desire and anticipation of ‘what next?’

• Removing wax trapped in hair can hurt. Before play, consider shaving body hair and tying long hair out of the way to avoid any sticky situations.
• Playing on old bedclothes and sheets that you don’t mind getting wax on is a good idea. You may also choose to cover or move nearby furniture, carpets, or belongings.
• Have a bowl of cold water (not ice) and a towel nearby, to cool the skin or extinguish the open flame. If you have a fire extinguisher then you should have it close by just in case something goes wrong. Burning candles always comes with a fire risk so please be careful. We want to heat up your sex life, not your whole house.
• Test the temperature of the wax on yourself before your partner. This makes sure your know what you’re working with so everyone’s safe and it’s considerate which is very sexy.
• Wax is best dripped on large areas like the back and shoulders, thighs and backs of legs and bottom. Never drip wax on the face.
• Dripping hot candle wax from different heights also affects the temperature. The greater the distance between the candle and body, the more time the wax has to cool before hitting the skin.
• Begin by standing over your partner with one foot on either side of their back. Drip the candle from this height and then only if they’re comfortable with the wax temperature, should you experiment, moving a little closer.
• We’ve said it once, and we’ll say it again. Communication is everything when it comes to great sex. In particular, communication during wax play is essential because everyone’s pain threshold and sensitivity to temperature are different. Make sure you’re listening to your sweetie.

Getting Wax Off the Body

Put simply, you can remove bondage candle wax from the body by allowing it to cool and then picking or peeling it off. A red mark may remain on the skin, but this will lessen in time.

To intensify the temperature play, and cool the wax quicker, chill a metal spoon in a bowl of ice before placing it on the wax to help it harden. Any cold edges that touch the sub’s skin will be a sharp contrast to the heat they’ve just melted in to.

If right now you’re thinking that this all sounds a little painful, you’re not entirely wrong.

As well as doing an incredibly good job at turning people on, wax BDSM play can be pretty demanding on the skin.

So what’s the big takeaway?

In short, don’t neglect aftercare. We’re talking about gentle caresses of the tender spots the melted wax has touched, smothering aloe vera lotion all over them and whispering sweet nothings about the scene that’s just unravelled. The full works. I’m willing to bet that aftercare is actually the best bit for some folks out there as it fosters closeness and intimacy in a completely different way than sex. So don’t forget about it.

Need more help or advice?

For a pleasurable candle play session there needs to be a good level of trust, communication and understanding between partners. As with all bondage play, it’s important to know how to keep each other safe with words and actions, so you have a positive erotic experience with this form of sensation play.

Ready to play? Shop for massage or bondage candles. Or email the Harmony Customer Service team, should you have any more questions about these products. We stock a wide range of sex toys from vibrators to gags and everything in between. Always shipped discreetly.