Kinks and Fetishes: A to I
Fetishes and kinks are as diverse as people are, so it’s no shock to discover that people have different twists and turns in their turn-ons.
Many fetishes get stigmatised because they can be niche and let’s be honest, a little quirky. But the heart wants what the heart wants. And after all, aren’t our quirks what make us all the more loveable? If you're wondering what kink or fetish might float your boat, read on and see if anything fits!
Kink vs. Fetish: What's the difference?
What is a kink?
A kink is a sexual act or preference carried out solo or with a consenting partner(s) that is typically considered out of the mainstream.
What is a fetish?
A fetish is a form of sexual desire in which gratification requires a particular object, activity or body part other than the sexual organs. A fetish although similar to a kink is something that must be present for the individual to feel sexual arousal.
Think of it like this, for those with a fetish (and no, not everyone has one) if sexual arousal was a bike, their particular fetish would be the wheels. Fundamental. Without them, the bike simply won’t go. Kinks, on the other hand, are more like adding pom poms on the handlebars or a cute little basket. Not necessarily essential to the ride but a fun and unique addition.
What is a kink?
A kink is a sexual act or preference carried out solo or with a consenting partner(s) that is typically considered out of the mainstream.
What is a fetish?
A fetish is a form of sexual desire in which gratification requires a particular object, activity or body part other than the sexual organs. A fetish although similar to a kink is something that must be present for the individual to feel sexual arousal.
Think of it like this, for those with a fetish (and no, not everyone has one) if sexual arousal was a bike, their particular fetish would be the wheels. Fundamental. Without them, the bike simply won’t go. Kinks, on the other hand, are more like adding pom poms on the handlebars or a cute little basket. Not necessarily essential to the ride but a fun and unique addition.
Consent and safewords
Most important to remember is, before you get down to it with your particular flavour of fetish or kink, ensure you’ve had a good chat and that everyone involved is on the same page, enthusiastically and continuously consenting.
This, of course, applies to all kinds of sex but particularly when it comes to exploring new territory like discovering a kink, it's essential to discuss boundaries so that everyone can have a fabulous time.
Analingus
Analingus, AKA eating ass or giving a rim job.
Although this one might not be at the top of your foreplay to-do list if you don’t typically dabble in the delights of backdoor play, analingus is a super fun sex act to add to your sexual repertoire.
It's essentially, stimulating your partner's anus with your mouth, lips or tongue. Think licking, kissing and even penetrating. Like other erogenous zones, the anus is home to lots of lovely nerve endings just waiting to be tickled.
Bear in mind that with analingus, the goal is not necessarily orgasm but rather it’s an additional level of pleasure, the cherry on the cake. For many people who partake in analingus, its true appeal is the taboo nature of the act and that’s what sends them over the edge.
Breeding kink
A breeding kink belongs to people who get turned on by having sex that could potentially result in pregnancy, i.e. unprotected or fluid-bonded sex. Whilst exchanging bodily fluids and having sex without a condom aren't necessarily kinks in and of themselves, those with a breeding kink are highly aroused by the possibility and the risk of pregnancy, regardless of whether a pregnancy is even wanted. For most folks with a breeding kink, the end goal is not to become pregnant, instead, it's the intimacy, or risk that turns them on and in many cases, these people will use other forms of birth control aside from condoms.
Cuckolding
Cuckolding is a kink in which someone is turned on by the thought of their partner having sex with someone else. Its history lies in the practice of exploring the turn-on of a female partner sleeping with other men as a means of humiliation. But this kink isn't just for hetero couples - people of all genders and orientations can engage in cuckolding and you don't even have to be present!
For many, the mere thought of their partner sleeping with someone else is enough to get them off and they don't need to see it firsthand. There’s also an element of voyeurism that plays into cuckolding, but we’ll touch on that more later…
Dominance
One of the most popular kinks out there, dominance falls under the umbrella of BDSM and is all about consensual power play. In tantalising dom sub scenarios, the dominant partner derives great sexual pleasure from taking control and leading their sub. Oftentimes, dominance involves bondage, restraint, orgasm control as well as manoeuvring their sub into the most compromising of positions.
Electrostimulation
Electrostimulation AKA electro sex, electro play or estim really is one of those kinks that does what it says on the tin. The power of electricity is harnessed in the sexiest of ways as electric shocks course through the body delivering tantalising waves of pleasure.
The nature of this kink means it does require a bit of specialist equipment known as a transcutaneous electrical nerve endings stimulation unit or a TENS unit. Obviously, electrostimulation comes with its dangers so be sure to have a safeword in place and obtain continuous, enthusiastic consent.
Foot Fetishism
Feet. Funny things aren't they?
For most people, their sole purpose is to get us from A to B, for others they have far greater and kinkier hidden potential…
Foot fetishism has seen a surge in popularity in recent years and it's now far more common for someone to want to worship your tootsies to get in the mood. Like any kink, foot fetishism exists on a spectrum. Sex acts for those into feet can range from mild forms of foot worship like kissing, caressing, and massaging to foot jobs and of course classic toe sucking, right up to the more extreme humiliation side of the foot fetish. For some feet fanatics, being subject to foot-in-mouth situations, being literally walked all over, smelling their partner's feet or shoes and being told how pathetic they are to enjoy such things can be massive turn-ons.
Gagging
Gagging is another common kink that falls under the wider banner of BDSM.
The true charm of this kink is in all the different elements of potential arousal. Of course, you have the auditory stimulation of hearing your partner making gagging noises which can be very pleasurable, especially if it’s your penis they're gagging on.
Then there’s the visual aspect of things. Watching your sub drool, rendering them unable to speak and seeing their mouth perfectly wrapped around a ball gag really paints a horny af picture.
Humiliation
Potentially one of the broadest types of kinks (as it can seep into many of the others mentioned in this post like cuckolding and foot fetishism), humiliation is another form of BDSM. Not only can humiliation be carried out physically, but many people with this kink enjoy verbal humiliation through the use of degrading language and insults. If the thought of being called a “bitch” or “slut” in bed sets your pulse racing, this could be a kink worth exploring.
As always, be sure to discuss limits and boundaries with your partner as what works for one of you might be too far for the other. Be specific about where you draw the line and make sure there's enthusiastic and consistent consent from everyone involved.
Impact play
You won't be surprised to hear that we think impact play really spanks the spot.
Referring to the act of striking your partner's body with whatever is at hand, from whips, spanking paddles riding crops and kitchen utensils to your very own hands. This kind of kink is about inflicting a little pain and shocking your partner after building up that oh-so-sweet anticipation.
A word to the wise, for those just dipping their toe in the pool of impact play, ease in with softer thwacks and stick to fattier areas like the sides of the bottom or thighs. Again, impact play is ruddy satisfying as you can hear the contact as your smack lands and know you're delivering the most delicious of stings to your significant other. And who knows? Maybe you'll get to kiss them better afterwards.
